Of course, you knew I would have to tell a story about how I came up with the title of this page. :-) Already, you know me too well. So, gather around the fire and let me fill you in...
Many, many (way too many) moons ago when I was just a child, my father was the person in our family in charge of discipline. Now Dad had never been one to spank or hit his children - he didn't like it and didn't feel it was necessary to keep us in line. Needless to say I will forever be grateful for what he gave me.
However, when you have 13 children all running around in the same house, discipline becomes a necessary portion of life. So, in a democratic nature, Dad would let us choose our own punishment. We had choices between a switch (which you had to cut yourself - Gary never learned not to cut a slim one), no television (we lived in the country, and television was a big thing back then and out there), extra chores (this is the one Mom always wanted us to take), or general grounding to your room (although this punishment was over the quickest, none of us wanted to be placed in our room for a day).
There were many times I can remember my father coming home and getting the "low down" from Mom. He would then squish his lips together and prepare for the lecture.
"You know how hard your Mother works for you ... at least show some respect ... I don't understand why we keep doing this ... can't you please just try? ..."
When the lecture had expired, your time was up. Dad would say, "You know what you did was wrong. Now, pick your poison."
Now, that story wasn't so bad, was it? And in the fashion of my father, I urge you to pick your poison.
It seems that I've collected so many jokes and stories that I've had to separate them into categories in order for the page to load with any amount of quickness. I have tried to place the more offensive ones within their own category, but I cannot guarantee that offensive material is not within one of the other sections.
If you have list or a funny thing to add, just drop me a line and I'll put it up here. As you can tell, I'm very partial to lists.