Late Night Taliban/Osama Jokes

"The FBI is urging all Americans to beware of any letters or packages that have badly misspelled words. Man, this is going to be terrible news for the rap industry." -Jay Leno

"Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder." -Jay Leno

"More and more news coming out about this Osama bin Laden guy. He's 6'5" and has 42 children. Or, as the NBA calls him, a rookie." -Jay Leno

"Now this really annoys me; all these people getting on the Internet and saying Nostradamus predicted this. If Nostradamus were alive today his name would be Miss Cleo and he'd be charging $2.99 a minute." -Jay Leno

"People are being much, much nicer to each other in New York. And I have to be honest, it's kind of weird. The other night at Shea Stadium, instead of yelling 'You suck!' at the Braves, Mets fans were yelling, 'Others are better than you!'" -Conan O'Brien

"Clinton and Dole are joining forces to raise $100 million in scholarship money for the families of the victims. But you know who also deserves a pat on the back, Elizabeth Dole. Her husband is on Viagra and he's gone on the road with Bill Clinton - that is one trusting woman." -Jay Leno

"Do you remember the good ol' days when Congress was only unsafe if you were an intern." -David Letterman

"Security here in New York City is still very tight. Hookers in Time Square now are demanding two forms of fake ID." -David Letterman